April 3, 2020 Edition: Sunnyside Arms Over Easy Blog
- The Sunnyside Arms Gazette
- Apr 3, 2020
- 3 min read
Updated: Jul 11, 2020
The Sunnyside Arms Gazette's Over Easy column is taken over today by our pulls-no-punches, lady loving, book writing, Jell-O slurping, resident specialist of all things sniffable, the one and only Harold!
Harold here. This is a bit of a new venture for me. I’m not used to using this newfangled computer machine to write what I’m thinking. But I have to, since Agnes got rid of the last manual typewriter on the premises last year. Go figure.
What I Have Been Doing During The Covid-19 Pandemic
Those of you who know me, know I’m my charming best when I’m interacting and conversing with others—especially with the ladies (but more about that later). So, I’ll do my best to explain in writing what I’ve been thinking and doing since this whole Covid-19 situation came about.
As the first resident of Sunnyside Arms, I can tell you things sure have changed. We’re all cooped up in here and Agnes keeps saying it’s for our own good. I find that hard to believe on some days. I get my best sense of women by taking a good sniff of them when I’m standing close. That sniff can tell you a lot about a woman. It’s the way I navigate the world, and I know I make the ladies around here feel pretty good about themselves when I tell them how good they smell. I wrote a book about my sniffer last year called, "Sniff," and I am pretty proud of it.
Sniffing Limited Right Now, But You Can Still Read About It
Right now, with all this Covid-19 stuff (Where did the “19” come from? What happened to the first “18” Covids?), I can’t get any closer than six feet to the lovely ladies here at Sunnyside Arms without them hollering at me or Agnes threatening to send me to my room to think about my behavior. Honestly, that Agnes thinks she’s in charge of everything. And I find if I do walk by a lady and try to get a good sniff, all I smell is that god-almighty hand sanitizer. That’s one repugnant smell I tell you. My life feels upside down. Good thing we all have my book to remind us of the joys of sniffing, because things seem pretty dark right now in general.
"That sniff can tell you a lot about a woman." — Harold Macnamara
The one bright thing I can tell you about is that Betsy Ross has decided to use her multiple talents to start leading exercise classes in the recreation room or out in the garden. (Rest assured, she keeps us all six feet apart for safety’s sake to my utter disappointment.)
Social Distancing and Staying Fit at Sunnyside Arms
Can you imagine it? Exercise classes with a bunch of worn out bodies like ours! Hehe! I’m hoping I can build up my biceps and show them off to impress the ladies around here. Even Tiffini with an “i” has been taking those classes because she sure can’t wash, cut, color or style anybody’s hair around here right now with all that six feet between us all nonsense. I will say though, she’s shown up with some pretty interesting hair-dos herself. I guess you’re allowed to get within six feet of yourself to style your own hair.
Signing off for now,
Harold
About our Guest Reporter: Harold and his now-deceased wife, Ethel, were the first residents of Sunnyside Arms. Their plan was to live out the remainder of their lives together enjoying all of the amenities that the Sunnyside Arms Retirement Community has to offer. Unfortunately, Ethel died under quite mysterious circumstances about two years ago. Since Ethel's (perhaps, untimely) death, Harold has fashioned himself the resident "Man about Town," sniffing and charming all of the lady residents of Sunnyside Arms. Harold is extremely proud that he published his first book last year, “Sniff,” which was quite a feat given that it was 11 pages long. According to Harold, he has the best "sniffer" this side of the Mississippi.
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