April 25, 2020 Edition: Sunnyside Arms Over Easy Blog
- The Sunnyside Arms Gazette
- Apr 25, 2020
- 5 min read
Updated: Jul 11, 2020
The Sunnyside Arms Gazette's Over Easy column is taken over today by our straight-faced, well-dressed and oh-so-handsome investigator and (temporary) resident specialist of all things rules and regulatory, the one and only John Vanderbilt!
Hello There,
If you don’t already know me, my name is John Vanderbilt and I am the Board President of the Retirement Communities of Florida. As the premiere retirement community in South Florida, Sunnyside Arms is first on my list of stops during “check-in season.” Part of my job is to make sure that Agnes and her staff continue to run this place like the majestic queen she is.
Why I Am Still Here
I was here at Sunnyside Arms for one of my check-ins when the order to “stay home and stay safe” came down from the government. This Covid-19 is no joke, so I decided to just stay here to do what I could to help. I really didn’t think the quarantine would last as long as it is. Good thing they treat me like a movie star around here or else I’d be in worse shape than I am. Regardless, I take my job very seriously, so I intend to do whatever it takes (within reason and at a safe social distance) to help Sunnyside Arms weather this pandemic successfully. After all, both of our reputations rest on it.
When Antsy, Write A Memo
Truth be told, I get antsy if I can’t write a memo or report often enough—that’s just how I roll—so when Agnes suggested that I might contribute something actually helpful (her wording) to the retirement community while I am here, I thought I’d give this blog thing a try. I live my life within the margins of a traditional business letter or, when I’m feeling really crazy, a memo, so blogging is a little out of my usual pervue. Is a memo blog a thing? Well, I guess we’ll soon find out.
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JOHN'S MEMO BLOG TO EVERYONE
MEMO: To Everyone
FROM: John Vanderbilt, Board President of the Retirement Communities of Florida
SUBJECT: Care and Safety at Sunnyside Arms in the Time of Covid-19
DATE: Saturday, April 25, 2020
In an effort to get an official statement out on behalf of Sunnyside Arms regarding the care and safety procedures being taken on the property by both staff and residents, I sit here blogging for the greater good. Rest assured I am making certain we all stay at least 12 feet apart from one another at all times (call me an overachiever, I’m used to it). Of course, masks and gloves are mandatory. However some residents have gotten creative in bridging the social distance gap.
Harold The Laundry Sniffer
Harold, always the enterprising gent, has taken to offering to do laundry for the residents. Well, the ladies, at least. At first, I thought to myself, “what a great guy,” but now I’ve caught him in the laundry room too many times sniffing each article of clothing, taking notes in a journal and collecting “scent samples” which are just glorified craft jars from Betsy, filled with air. I told him his actions were wildly inappropriate and should cease immediately. Harold maintains that it’s in the name of science and research that he is carrying out this most odd behavior. I mentioned this to Agnes and informed her I was writing an extensive report on the matter. I’m not aware of her response; I clued her in on the fly (while remaining behind her famous “red line of personal space” and an impressive 12 feet away from her desk), taking quick strides as part of my property check-in rounds.
Betsy Ross The Invisible Friend Finder
Betsy Ross is someone that I think we can all agree, and she would take no offense to me saying so, is very odd. It’s become apparent to me that she cannot sit still for a moment and always needs to be doing something. The success of her Easter-themed BETSYTalk and social event had her looking for new ways to fill her time lately, and lucky us (I say with no sarcasm whatsoever, not), her newest interest is ghost hunting, or “invisible friend finding,” as she’s calling it. In fact, Betsy has told me she’s already come in contact with Ethel, Harold’s wife who died under some mysterious circumstances (the case is still under investigation so I cannot speak more on the matter). Her proof is a crayon drawing of the late Ethel, which looked suspiciously like something my 11-year-old nephew would draw and obviously doesn’t prove anything other than that Betsy is terrible at ghost drawings. On the heels of her encounter, Betsy requested an important business meeting with Agnes and myself. The topic of this meeting? Funding for her newly started “Invisible Friends Society of Sunnyside Arms.” She wants to get some ghost hunting equipment she learned about on the Portals to Hell and Ghost Nation TV shows. She even included links and diagrams for us to check out. I mostly did what I thought was smiling and nodding throughout the whole ordeal, however, Agnes informed me that I was in fact not smiling. Maybe setting up a camera or two around here wouldn’t be such a bad idea.
In Conclusion, An Important Mention
It’s important to mention, while we navigate through this period of time, where it feels like life is on hold and we’re eager to get back to normal, remember that things won’t always be this way. The sooner people begin to and continue to shelter in as we’ve been directed to, the sooner we can all be back together. If you’re feeling stressed, depressed, anxious or overwhelmed, know that is okay and you’re not the only one feeling that way. Take this time to do some self-care. Pick up a new hobby or revisit an old one. Be like Harold and Betsy, but not exactly.
Sincerely,
John Vanderbilt, Board President
Retirement Communities of Florida
cc: Agnes
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Today’s Takeaway
If there’s one thing I’ve learned from the residents and staff of Sunnyside Arms, both before and during this health pandemic, these people really know how to carry on and see the sunny side of life. Sure, they’re strange and they drive me up a wall. (Agnes is holding too many meetings, Betsy has made me too many Covid-19 themed care cards, Tiffani keeps trying to get me to cut my hair with instructions from her latest YouTube video...I STILL cannot understand a word her fiance, Joe, says to me. And, of course, Harold cannot keep his nose to himself!) I’d never say this to their faces, but this has been one of the most interesting, valuable, and impactful retirement communities I’ve had the task of investigating. Coming from me, that is saying a lot.
About our Guest Reporter: John is the Board President of the Retirement Communities of Florida, now serving his fifth year in this role. When not busy inspecting retirement communities in South Florida, John can be found having to-the-point conversations while drinking expensive wine. He also enjoys shopping at large flea markets, often in the company of his old friend and Sunnyside Arms resident, Genevieve DuVoo and his long-time partner, Simon Chandler Kind.
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